happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize