OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
