I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
