it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
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Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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