they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
