Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
