Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
