Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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