Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
