Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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