i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
