some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
