Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize