Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize