searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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