Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize