I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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