WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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