I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize