he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
should my penis look like a turkey
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
