yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
