She said her name was "party"
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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