Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
