Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize