I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize