I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She announced her abortion via fbk
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize