I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize