I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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