I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
