Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have aggressive nipples.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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