Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
