I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
this boner is exhausting
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Randomize
