his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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