tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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