There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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