He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Sober January is a disaster.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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