is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
