i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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