He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
