I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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