is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
