Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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