Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
