And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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