Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
