So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
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