On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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