At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
