i permit you to call me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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