She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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