Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wish my penis had a tongue
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize