Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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