my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We left an ass print on the piano.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
