bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
